Loves

Mother's Day 2015

Sunday morning I took a walk in the woods with my mom, my husband, and my daughter. My mom and I lagged behind looking for large rocks for possible excavation, trying to identify a fungus growing on the hickory trees, and admiring the moss and may apples. Lindsey and Audrey were below us, already in the bed of the creek. She was talking a mile a minute and having a blast climbing over the slippery rocks, riding the fallen tree branches, and wildly exploring. She kept calling for me but I was slow not only because the hillside was so steep, but because I was taking pictures of the lichen, moss, bark, and ferns. My mom called out, "Get a picture of you and Audrey together."

"What?" I complained, "I haven't brushed my hair or my teeth, I don't have on any makeup, and I have on dad's shirt."

As soon as the words left my month, I realized how incredibly lame they were. I don't think Audrey heard me. I hope she didn't, because not wanting to have your picture taken when you are having fun and doing something cool just because you don't have on makeup and happen to look like a sloppy truck driver is really stupid.

So, I decided to follow Audrey's example and just explore. Be in the moment. Experience joy. I shoved the camera in my pocket and continued the trek down the hill, meeting her and Lindsey. 

I had him take this picture a few minutes later at the bottom of the creek with my very happy, adventurous, funny, smart, kid who continues to teach me how to be a better person every day. I'm smiling in it because I'm so in love with my daughter. I'm smiling because I'm making my mom happy. I'm smiling because I know I just learned another life lesson. I'm smiling because I'm in a very beautiful place in the woods. I'm smiling because this overweight, out of shape, mid-life crisis bag of bones can still get around and enjoy life.

I continued to walk the creek bed, concentrating on not slipping on the wet mossy rocks, one worn shoe in front of the other, grabbing tree branches cold from the previous night's rain for leverage. I looked ahead at Lindsey and Audrey.

I have everything I need. They remind me that I matter.

GrandPortraits by Jess Dewes

On Saturday, Jess Dewes, my dear and talented photographer friend, made the journey out to parent's place for one of her newest ventures, a GrandPortraits session. Her husband Mike, and sweet daughter Sylvie joined her and we made a day of it. My dad took the girls on golf cart rides through the woods, we toured the workshop, played with the fifty new chicks, had peach cobbler, and shared lots of stories.

I should preface all of this by letting you know, my parents are sort of no nonsense people. Posing for photos is not something they are typically comfortable with or would make time for. But I told them that Mike and Jess had been wanting to come out and see their place and that they wouldn't have to pose, per se...that Jess would just kind of follow us around as we did stuff. They didn't know what to expect and were really good sports about the whole thing.

So that's how it went down. The magic of Jess is how well she connects with people. She makes you feel comfortable. Before you know it, you are joking around, swapping stories and barely realize your picture is being taken. My mom and Jess were joking about "smizing" when she snapped this one. 

It is hard for me to look at this picture of my dad without getting emotional. It captures so much about him and then there is just a lot about this face that reminds me of my grandma.

I saw a few of the snaps on her camera before leaving and got teary-eyed. The shots above are just a few that she shared on Facebook--I haven't seen the finished collection. I can't tell you what a powerful, wonderful, and emotional experience this was. My parents mean the world to me. To have really great photos of them in their own environment, wearing clothes they usually wear, looking how they really look,  and to have the memories of that afternoon will be something I will cherish forever.

Jess is launching this new facet of her portraiture business after a recent experience she had producing work for a group show in St. Louis called Air.  I highly recommend you read this very touching piece. And I also emphatically encourage you to have photos made of your own parents or grandparents. Again, it was a wonderful experience. Jess made it so. You will not regret it. My only regret is that I don't have pictures like these of my own grandparents.

Here are some extra shots I took of the girls on the go-carts and my brother, Tony. Such a fun day. Thanks Jess, Mike, Sylvie, Mom, Dad, Tony, Lindsey, and Audrey. Love to all.
xoa

Early Easter

Grandmother Durway

Lindsey's grandmother died this morning at the age of 109 in Fort Worth, Texas. We visited her when Audrey was just 5-6 months old and again in 2010. On that last visit, all the Durways were there and we had a photographer take many photos in the house where Catherine raised her three boys and still lived with her son Bob. It was a great visit, one that she spoke of often and that we will always remember. She was just six weeks shy of her 110 birthday. The video I have of that visit is crappy, but I'm glad to have it.

Attitude of Gratitude: 28

June 2011

This photo was before we took off for Colorado. A lot has changed in two years and we've had a few health scares, but all is well now. This family is what I'm most grateful for in all the world. Nothing means more.  Looking forward to a relaxing dinner. Love to all.

Attitude of Gratitude: 25

Little a and Big L have been so patient with me over the last several weeks and such a huge help as we've pulled together to get a lot of the homey touches done on the house. Audrey performed in her kindergarten concert yesterday and was so focused and looked like she was having a grand time. When we got home, she put on her play clothes and super girl mask and was totally wired because we had all the baby shower guests still at our house. She was in rare form. I love my teeny tiny family so much.

Attitude of Gratitude: 14

I'm thankful today and every day for Lindsey. Never ashamed to wear his Cookie Monster or Mr. Rodgers t-shirts from Audrey. He is the most awesome dad - so patient and present. Love. Love. Love.

Attitude of Gratitude: 10

My parents always are helping me out with all my crazy projects. But I think I learned crazy projects from my dad. I bought a office-grade filing cabinet at Warehouse of Stuff that looked like crap and had my dad spray it and it looks amazing now. New, the cabinet was almost $400. I got mine for $60. And I've been hanging on to six crappy dining room chairs for years. None of the chairs cost over $3. My mom sanded, dad sprayed, and I recovered the bottoms in linen and now we have six that look beautiful and have changed the entire look of the kitchen. I am grateful for my folks in about a million different ways. But today I am so grateful that they taught me the thrill of thrift and transformation. Making stuff feels so much better than buying stuff.

Attitude of Gratitude: 02

Thankful that I have my brother and nephews living so close, in St. Louis. We have dinner together almost every Monday night. They are tween/teen boys who are increasingly sleepy, hungry, funny, and sweet. Even at their ages, they never fail to hug all three of us good-bye and tell us they love us. My brother has done such a great job with them. I love him and my nephews so much.

Kin: Four Ladies

More from the kin file folder of images. I'm not sure who any of these women are, but they are somehow related to me. A little foreboding, no?

Gratitude

The Downing Girls: Karen, Debbie, Glenda (mom), and Myra at the Schwartz family farm (2012)

The last week has been tough. My mom had a pretty major health episode last Sunday. She got to come home from the hospital on Friday. Her recovery will be slow, but the prognosis is excellent. We would not have been able to manage without the help of our family--especially my aunts (above) and my sweet cousin Kelly. Uncle Larry and Uncle Roger too. Seriously, my family is already close, but when a crisis hits, it gets thick as mud.

I was telling Lindsey yesterday, that when I thanked my aunts, Kelly, and even my friend Katy, every one of them responded, "Oh, I didn't do anything." Each one of them said this. So. Not. True. I can't even expound on them/this because I'm a bucket of tears as it is. 

Also, my dear Lindsey has been remarkable. He is such an awesome dad and although I was gone so much during the week, Audrey has sailed through all this with the greatest of ease. She missed me, but I'm not sure why. Lindsey took her to the planetarium, tropical fish store, Tower Tee Mini Golf, Grant's Farm, swimming, and all her favorite places to eat. We told her that grandma was sick, but didn't dwell on it. She made cards and was her usual sweet little self.

I'd say more about how much my dad, my brothers, and my mom mean to me. But I just can't. How a family loves and works is a kind of complicated joy. It is a story understood only by its characters.

My mom told me yesterday that when she was outside for a little bit, everything looked like it was 3D to her, even more beautiful than before. Amen, mama.

This world. So mixed up and wonderful. I'm so full of love and gratitude it hurts.

Picking Strawberries and Making Jam

This holiday weekend Lindsey, Audrey, my mom, Audrey's BFF/cousin Ava, and I picked strawberries at Thierbach Orchards in Marthasville, Missouri. Then we made freezer jam with the girls. Three lessons learned:

1. Have supplies and/or know what you are going to do with the berries BEFORE you make the trip. We had to get more Sure-Jell.
2. Know when to stop. We picked way too many berries. Plenty for a couple dozen jars of jam and plenty to freeze. 
3. Frequently check your camera lens when picking strawberries. Somehow, mine got goo on it and several of my photos have hazy spots from this.

In the future, I may try a freezer jam recipe that doesn't use as much sugar. Mom's is the best, but I need to try to curb the sugar where I can. Making freezer jam is easy and was such a fun lesson for the girls. Thanks to mom for the field trip, supplies, and know-how passed on to us.

Wrapping The Week

What a treat to have my nephews and their daddy over for dinner twice this week. They are still so sweet and playful with Audrey, who gives them not a moment's peace. She loves those boys--her cousins. We are going to be with extended family on Saturday, sitting around a campfire in all likelihood. Kicking off the summer. Woot!

This instructional video for a hand clapping game is so cute. The girls take it so seriously. If you need to reconnect with the happy girl inside you, watch girls do hand clapping games on YouTube. Love.

Why this fight matters.

Gorgeous lighting.

Serious finger painting.

Audrey's discovered Pee Weeeeeee!

I have no occasion to wear this but I love it nonetheless. 

And for Audrey, this dress.

This tiny annual report is brilliant.

Crazy chunky love.

Don't stop the music.

xoa

Happy Birthday

Not much activity on the blog over the last week or so with packing and moving. At 8am on Friday, the movers arrive. However, last Sunday, we managed to steal away to Warrenton. My mom had a little get together because my cousin Joe, his wife Ashley, and their baby Rilynne, were in town from Houston. None of us had seen the baby yet. It was a sweet affair and my mom surprised me with my favorite white buttermilk cake for my birthday (which is today).

Ava holding baby sister Sydnie. Baby Rilynne. And our Audrey.

My aunts and uncles, all together.
The Downing Girls: Sisters Debbie, Glenda (mom), Myra, Karen

The hubs: Rob, Richard (dad), Roger, Larry

Me and mama...our birthdays just four days apart.

Mine

"Mommy, I love you more than lollipops and lemonade." Hearing your kid say this with 100% sincerity is pretty much the best feeling ever. I sure do love these two. That is all for today.

Weekend Bits & Pieces

The Good:

• I got Audrey's room painted and the pink ceiling looks amazing. Poor pictures later this week at SweetStreetSTL.
• Dinner party on Saturday night was so fun. What great friends and food.
• The turnout at our Open House on Sunday was spectacular, as was the feedback from potential buyers and agents. We're hoping it won't be too much longer.
• Lots of visits from friends and family this weekend while we worked on house.

The Bad:

• Our nanny changed her mind about taking the job. On Sunday night when she was supposed to start Tuesday. Not cool.

 The Ugly:

• Spackling. Such a cruddy job. 

Weekend Bits & Pieces

This is a real "family edition" blog post. This was the annual "shopping weekend" with my mom, aunts, and cousins. The second generation (my cousins and I) has been going for probably the last 25 years. Our moms, probably the last 40-45 years. There have been snowstorms, pregnancies, and calamities small and large, but no matter. Around the first weekend of December we descend upon St. Louis for shopping, dining, and mostly laughs. The past several years, everyone has spent the night with me and my brother. This will be the last shopping trip headquartered from our little Magnolia house. I drove them by the new house and they gushed-so happy for us. After our Friday night ritualistic feed at Biggie's, I took them to Ted Drewes and then through Candy Cane Lane. It was another wonderful weekend. We sure missed Aunt Debbie, but are looking forward to seeing her at Christmas.

BEFORE

DURING

AFTER
(The bar at Red Lobster on the Rock Road. No kidding.)

Mollie's girls. I love all the aunt's hands in this picture.

Nephew Jacob played "Tex Glitter" in school's holiday music program. What a star!
(And isn't my brother handsome? Such a great dad.)

My sweet girl woke with a terrible fever. Secretly, I'm just glad this happened this morning and not later in the week. Her school birthday party is Friday and real birthday party is Saturday.