Kids These Days - Change Agents

Audrey (5th grade), Sam (college freshman), Jacob (high school junior)

Today was the last day of summer break. My daughter starts 5th grade tomorrow and since we were on a late summer vacation last week, we did some last minute clothes shopping together. She was goofing so hard in the dressing room we couldn't stop laughing. She can be such a little nut. I'm not even sure what to expect this year because 5TH GRADE GIRLS. But we've had a good run so far so I'm cautiously optimistic. She still hugs me, says she loves my smile, and on occasion tells me that I smell good, so we are solid. I love this kid more every stinking day.

This evening we had a back to school dinner with my brother and nephews. It was completely delightful and relaxing*. I really value hearing their stories about their high school experiences. Tomorrow Jacob starts as a junior and Sam will be moving into his dorm for his first year of college. Things I learned:

• PBLs are so stupid. With project based learning there are always too many slackers and you end up trying to manage the group more than learning anything. 
• Me: "How come everybody thinks your school is so great and in ranks so high?"
  Answer: "Because all the teachers do is teach to the test. That's all they can do. They have hardly any freedom. We rank high because we test high." Examples followed.  
• Dealing with fellow students can be such a strain/drain. Students distract from learning by charging teachers with bias. One student complained he shouldn't have to learn about the suffrage movement and civil rights because "it doesn't effect me and we don't have any black kids in the class," to which my nephew responded with a big loud, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME DUDE?!"

These were kind of discouraging stories. But I'm somewhat buoyed by the fact that they recognize the shortcomings of a large public high school, can articulate the issues and their feelings, and still remain engaged in learning. They are well-rounded guys, interested and interesting. And big surprise, I love them will all my heart.

They provided me with some food for thought as I found out today I've been selected to be on the Student Life Advisory Committee at Lindbergh. This is a new concept for the district. Four committees (Finance, Curriculum & Instruction, Student Life, and Technology) will include community members, parents, board members and district staff members. It will be a two- or three-year term and we'll meet approximately once a month and will report to the Board of Education. I applied because I felt like it would be the best way to make a contribution towards curbing the growing bullying issues in our schools and because I was so moved (to tears) by the testimony at the March board meeting by some of the high school students from SIDE (Students Improving Diversity and Equity).

As an introvert, I would be far more comfortable playing a supporting role, helping out here and there at my convenience. But, that just doesn't feel right at this point in time. I feel called to be more engaged, a change agent. I'm not entirely sure what this will look like and where it will go, but I'm willing to try because increasingly I find these challenges rewarding, through frequently exhausting.

I find myself in these kinds of conflicts often - agreeing to head up projects (Neighborhood Association President, Class Party Lead, Upstanders Anti-Bullying Organization, Neighborhood Book Club Organizer, etc.) and then feeling like I've over-extended myself. I make no time for self-care and as a 51 year old mom of a ten year old, as an introvert who needs down-time to re-charge, I have to manage my time better.

But today, right now, I'm taking time to write a note of gratitude. Today was a very good day. My life is full. I'm surrounded with love and support and am able to give love and support. Here's to the new school year and new challenges.

It is most comfortable to be invisible, to observe life from a distance, at one with our own intoxicating superior thoughts. But comfort and isolation are not where the surprises are. They are not where hope is.”

― Anne Lamott, Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair 

Peace.

*This in spite of the fact that our kitchen faucet started leaking terribly four days before we left on vacation and the warranty part sent to us has been dealing me and the hubs all kinds of trouble in the three days we've been back. The faucet is still not repaired. I have a dishwasher full of dirty dishes, a sink full of dirty dishes, and a counter of dirty pots and pans. And as of 10pm tonight, it still isn't working. I'll be calling a Mr. Fixit tomorrow.