So Wednesday the local fire department visited Audrey's kindergarten class. They got to sit in the truck and learned all about fire safety. And she came home with a pink hat. I asked, "Did the boys get pink hats too?" Very adamantly she replied, "No. Red is for boys. Pink is for girls."
My stomach sank. Seriously? Are separate hats necessary? What is the rationale? Do real women firefighters wear pink hats? Will girls only where fire hats if they are pink? I know it may seem minor, but I think it just reinforces, at a young age, that girls are different, lesser, softer, not to be taken as seriously.
In college, I had a professor tell me, "This body of work could be shown in any gallery in town right now." Another professor told me it didn't really matter what kind of work I produced because, "you are probably just going to get married anyway." At the time, I remember being angry. But I didn't have the confidence to say, "Fuck off, prick." Instead, I internalized much of misogynistic rhetoric of the entire department. I'd been absorbing it from the culture since childhood. "Boys are doctors. Girls are nurses. Boys take. Girls give." I just kind of accepted what the professor said, without a fight. Feeling lesser, feeling powerless, was just part of my deal in the 90's.
Without any prompts whatsoever from me, when her dad got home and saw the hat, he asked, "Did you get to pick if you wanted a red or a pink hat?" Very adamantly she replied, "No. Red is for boys. Pink is for girls."
I wasn't quite sure how to turn this into a teachable moment. A lecture from me wasn't going to go far. I think Lindsey said something like, "Too bad they didn't have an orange hat just for you--your favorite color." She said, "But I love pink." So there you have it. The pink hats pander to the audience.
I know at this age, kids are really into rules. Especially around gender. But that is why I think it is even more critical to not play into the stereotypes. I want my daughter to be able to say to the person handing out the fire hats, "No. I'll take a red one, please." And if I had a son, I'd want him to be able to say, "No. I'll take a pink one, please."
When there are options, they should have a choice. Otherwise, they all get red, equal.
Stupid. Pink. Hats.
When there are options, they should have a choice. Otherwise, they all get red, equal.
Stupid. Pink. Hats.