Mirror Mirror

{André Gelpke - Christine au miroir, 1976}

My weight loss journey has not been a predictable one. When I started at the end of February, I thought it was going to be monumentally difficult. But I had some early success and have been able to stick with it and it actually has been easier this time than ever before. I guess at 45, I was finally ready. The biggest change has not been in what I eat, but how I think. Now 43 pounds later, I recognize myself in the mirror for the first time in a very long time. I have 37 more pounds to go to reach my goal. But I feel fantastic and have every confidence I will make it. Actually, I don't even think about it much anymore. I am in some kind of zone that I don't even recognize. I think it is the zone that normal people without food and weight issues live in. (Have I arrived?)

From the middle of the summer to now, life has been especially stressful as we prepared our house to put on the market, shopped for a house, went on a long vacation, started a new job (Lindsey) and started school (Audrey). I haven't had much time for myself. In fact, most weeks, controlling what I ate seemed to be the only thing I had control of. But I have only missed one Weight Watchers meeting in six months. It has been the one constant, the one way I was determined to take care of myself.

Now that Audrey is back in school and we have postponed our house sale and house hunt until spring, I feel like I can maybe, just maybe, start putting together the rest of my life. Make some art. Take some pictures. Write. Make some new connections. Oh, and buy some new clothes. We packed all of our winter clothes in a pod, thinking we would be unpacking into a dream home right about now. I know none of my old pants would fit anymore. But my sweaters! My boots! Learning to live with less (of everything) over the next 5-6 months is going to be outrageously challenging and fun.