Joy Is Such A Human Madness

We are all struggling in this pandemic. Adjusting to new routines, worrying about the health of our friends and family and our communities. The toll this is going to take is hard to really grasp. I am turning to poetry and creative thinkers trying to help make sense of it all. This essay by Ross Gay is heartbreakingly beautiful to me right now. The

Minimizing Our Footprint

Our family is trying to minimize consumption. Probably one of the hardest habits for us to change is our reliance on Amazon. Anymore I pretty much despise shopping and love the convenience of Amazon. But their business practices, treatment of workers, and so much more leave me feeling not great at all about using them. So, we are trying to change our habits. With that being said, many of the products noted below were purchased on Amazon over the past year as I began to move us towards a smaller footprint.

This year I've switched to bar shampoo (no plastic containers), homemade toothpaste (required some adjustment), cotton mesh produce bags, and am working on homemade laundry soap (again no plastic containers). I've been using reusable grocery bags, lunch packing supplies, and environmentally friendly dishwasher soap, etc. But as a family, we have a lot more work to do on our footprint. These are small steps considering the scope of global warming. But we are researching and ramping up our efforts.

I posted about this on Facebook and asked for tips. A lot of friends asked me to share what products I've been trying and like, so here is a quick list. Note that I link to Amazon or other website where I bought the products, but you can find similar items locally or at other online outlets.

Hygiene

Homemade Toothpaste

Currently, I'm using this toothpaste recipe. I chose it because I already had all the ingredients on hand. It is a bit gritty, but not bad. I want to try this one next, which claims to be dentist-approved.

Toothbrushes

Made the switched to bamboo/biodegradable toothbrushes.

Bar Shampoo

I bought some bar shampoo on Amazon last fall and didn’t read package closely enough. The product has palm oil and each bar was wrapped in plastic. However, I was surprised by how well it has worked on my hair. I won’t purchase again though, for reasons stated above. I am going to try buying all soaps (bar shampoo + handsoap) locally at Herbaria on the Hill. I’ve bought soaps and gifts there over the years and they are really nice folks. I actually bought my husband a sampler pack of Herbaria bar shampoos for his Christmas stocking. I’ll switch to those for a few weeks and report back. Sammy Soaps in Kirkwood is also a fantastic company. I've read (and heard from friends) that the Lush Shampoo Bars are good. Maddie, at Local Harvest vouches for the shampoo bar made by Herman Handmade Soaps, which they sell in the store.

No Shampoo

I did try the no poo shampoo, which is essentially using small combinations of vinegar, baking soda, etc. and it actually was starting to work. The first 2-4 weeks is kind of gnarly. I started over Christmas break in 2017 but abandoned when I had to start really seeing people (work) on a more consistent basis. But I know people who do this with success. Here is a website with loads of no poo information.

Skincare and Makeup

My goal is to cut back on the use of makeup and move towards natural products when I do wear it. I quit dying my hair, which has been liberating and awesome. But now that it is shorter, it requires more product to look at all decent, which creates a dilemma. I should have kept in long (ponytail!) and just embraced my inner hippie. I have enough lipsticks in my medicine cabinet to last me the rest of my life. I am going to shop moisturizer with Blissoma, a local company dedicated to sustainability and move towards a total low maintenance routine. Plastic razors drive me bananas, but not sure I can go that hippie yet.

Around The House

Reusable Straws

My kid loves to have a straw with smoothies, so I bought a pack of these stainless steel reusables.

Packing a Lunch

All three of us have lunch bags and I pack reusable plastic containers. I've tried using various bento type boxes for the kid over the years, but opening and closing happens haphazardly. Individual containers just work better for us because I try to pack 75% of our lunch contents for the week on Sunday night. She has a stainless steel bottle of drinks.

Produce Bags 

Just got these mesh produce bags and used them for the first time. Happy with them so far.

Canvas Shopping Totes

I love my two giant IKEA totes but hate the rest of the plastic shopping bags I’ve accumulated. They don’t fold well and end up take up a lot of room in my car and inevitably tear. So as they wear out, I’m replacing with these giant totes with interior pockets. I have used them twice and love them.

Dishwasher Detergent

This is a work in progress. One reason I switched to this brand of dishwasher detergent was that it appeared to be in a box instead of a plastic bag. Upon arrival, I found that each tablet inside is wrapped in plastic. And I'm only marginally happy with their effectiveness. I want to try to make my own powder detergent or even my own tablets but am using up what I have first.

Laundry Detergent 

This is the laundry detergent recipe my friend Kristin uses. I have all the ingredients except the soap flakes and I’m going to get those from Herbaria. This is the next big project I'm trying. Husband does 90% of our laundry. Hope he's up for it.

Wool Laundry Balls 

My goal here was to eliminate dryer sheets because of fragrance concerns. These wool laundry balls are supposed to help clothes dry more quickly, saving energy. I put essential oils on them periodically to add nice smell to laundry.

Cloth Napkins

We've used cloth napkins forever. I have dozens I've picked up at estate sales over the years.

Other Shares

I joined my local Buy Nothing group on Facebook and have already been able to find homes for some gently used kids items. South City has a very active group. Half of the contents of my house is from estate sales. Online estate sale listings are here.

Gardening

I wish we could have a bigger garden, but our yard is so shady. I grow a TON of herbs and freeze pesto to last us the winter. We grow tomatoes and cucumbers, but that is about it.

Vegetarian / Vegan Diet

Lots of information out there on how much better a plant-based diet is for your health and the health of the planet. I do like to cook and we have been eating healthier so we're headed in this direction, although I don't think we will eliminate all meat.

Reading 2018

2018 Reading List

Read more in 2018 due to joining a book club and starting a book club. Most memorable books were Little Fires Everywhere, Edgar and Lucy, and Sing Unburied Sing. Most annoying book was Hillbilly Elegy. My goal is to read 36 books for 2019. My 2019 list is heavy on non-fiction and those tend to take me longer.  Focus is on more women and black writers.

Fiction

• Little Fires Everywhere  |  Celeste Ng
• Everything I Never Told You  |  Celeste Ng
• A Man Called Ove  |  Fredrick Backman
• The House Of Broken Angels**  |  Luis Alberto Urrea 
• The Hate You Give  |  Angie Thomas
• Their Eyes Were Watching God  |  Zora Neale Hurston
• Sing, Unburied, Sing  |  Jesmyn Ward
• Edgar and Lucy  |  Victor Lodato
• Imagine Me Gone  |  Stephan McCauley
• My Ex Life  |  Adam Haslett

Non-Fiction / Memoir

• Hillbilly Ellegy  |  J.D. Vance
• Holidays on Ice*  |  David Sedaris
• America Like Me**  |  America Ferrara
• Sonata  |  Andrea Avery
• We Should All Be Feminists*  |  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 
• Bad Feminist*  |  Roxane Gay
• Don't Call Me Princess  |  Peggy Orenstein
• Good & Mad***  |  Rebecca Traister

* A re-read

** Did not finish

*** In Progress

Kids These Days - Change Agents

Audrey (5th grade), Sam (college freshman), Jacob (high school junior)

Today was the last day of summer break. My daughter starts 5th grade tomorrow and since we were on a late summer vacation last week, we did some last minute clothes shopping together. She was goofing so hard in the dressing room we couldn't stop laughing. She can be such a little nut. I'm not even sure what to expect this year because 5TH GRADE GIRLS. But we've had a good run so far so I'm cautiously optimistic. She still hugs me, says she loves my smile, and on occasion tells me that I smell good, so we are solid. I love this kid more every stinking day.

This evening we had a back to school dinner with my brother and nephews. It was completely delightful and relaxing*. I really value hearing their stories about their high school experiences. Tomorrow Jacob starts as a junior and Sam will be moving into his dorm for his first year of college. Things I learned:

• PBLs are so stupid. With project based learning there are always too many slackers and you end up trying to manage the group more than learning anything. 
• Me: "How come everybody thinks your school is so great and in ranks so high?"
  Answer: "Because all the teachers do is teach to the test. That's all they can do. They have hardly any freedom. We rank high because we test high." Examples followed.  
• Dealing with fellow students can be such a strain/drain. Students distract from learning by charging teachers with bias. One student complained he shouldn't have to learn about the suffrage movement and civil rights because "it doesn't effect me and we don't have any black kids in the class," to which my nephew responded with a big loud, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME DUDE?!"

These were kind of discouraging stories. But I'm somewhat buoyed by the fact that they recognize the shortcomings of a large public high school, can articulate the issues and their feelings, and still remain engaged in learning. They are well-rounded guys, interested and interesting. And big surprise, I love them will all my heart.

They provided me with some food for thought as I found out today I've been selected to be on the Student Life Advisory Committee at Lindbergh. This is a new concept for the district. Four committees (Finance, Curriculum & Instruction, Student Life, and Technology) will include community members, parents, board members and district staff members. It will be a two- or three-year term and we'll meet approximately once a month and will report to the Board of Education. I applied because I felt like it would be the best way to make a contribution towards curbing the growing bullying issues in our schools and because I was so moved (to tears) by the testimony at the March board meeting by some of the high school students from SIDE (Students Improving Diversity and Equity).

As an introvert, I would be far more comfortable playing a supporting role, helping out here and there at my convenience. But, that just doesn't feel right at this point in time. I feel called to be more engaged, a change agent. I'm not entirely sure what this will look like and where it will go, but I'm willing to try because increasingly I find these challenges rewarding, through frequently exhausting.

I find myself in these kinds of conflicts often - agreeing to head up projects (Neighborhood Association President, Class Party Lead, Upstanders Anti-Bullying Organization, Neighborhood Book Club Organizer, etc.) and then feeling like I've over-extended myself. I make no time for self-care and as a 51 year old mom of a ten year old, as an introvert who needs down-time to re-charge, I have to manage my time better.

But today, right now, I'm taking time to write a note of gratitude. Today was a very good day. My life is full. I'm surrounded with love and support and am able to give love and support. Here's to the new school year and new challenges.

It is most comfortable to be invisible, to observe life from a distance, at one with our own intoxicating superior thoughts. But comfort and isolation are not where the surprises are. They are not where hope is.”

― Anne Lamott, Stitches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair 

Peace.

*This in spite of the fact that our kitchen faucet started leaking terribly four days before we left on vacation and the warranty part sent to us has been dealing me and the hubs all kinds of trouble in the three days we've been back. The faucet is still not repaired. I have a dishwasher full of dirty dishes, a sink full of dirty dishes, and a counter of dirty pots and pans. And as of 10pm tonight, it still isn't working. I'll be calling a Mr. Fixit tomorrow.